My Grandmother, My Parent…

KOMPAS/ISMAIL ZAKARIA

Mariam (50) with her grandson Nadira (8) in Mungkik Hamlet, Pandan Wangi Village, Jerowaru District, East Lombok Regency, West Nusa Tenggara, Wednesday (3/3/2021). Nadira\'s parents are migrant workers and she lives with her grandmother.

It was noon Central Indonesia Time on Wednesday (3/3/2021), when Nadira Putri, 8, who had just returned from playing with her friends, arrived at her house in Mungkik hamlet, Pandan Wangi village, Jero Waru district, East Lombok regency, West Nusa Tenggara. Upon arriving at home, Mariam, 50, greeted her on the verandah of the house. "I really love her. It feels like my own child, who was born from my own womb,” said Mariam.

Nadira is Mariam\'s granddaughter. She is the daughter of Suharniati, Mariam\'s daughter, who now lives in Kalimantan. Since birth, Nadira has lived with her grandmother.

Nine years ago, Nadira\'s mother became an Indonesian migrant worker (PMI) in Saudi Arabia. There, she met and married Nadira\'s father, a Bangladeshi national. When she was pregnant, Suharniati returned to Lombok alone and gave birth to Nadira.

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When Nadira was still 18 months old, her mother moved to Malaysia as a migrant worker. However, just one month later she was arrested for illegally entering Malaysia. She then returned to Lombok, remarried, and followed her husband to Kalimantan.

Mariam tried to take care of Nadira even though she and her husband only worked as laborers during the rice or tobacco season. Nadira’s mother sometimes sent Rp 200,000 to Rp 300,000 per month, but not regularly.

Nadira missed her parents, especially her father. "She often asks about his father. Recently, Nadira even asked to be accompanied (to Saudi Arabia) to meet her father," said Mariam.

KOMPAS/ISMAIL ZAKARIA

Bariah (50) and Rustim (60) with their grandson Farizi (2) in Mungkik Hamlet, Pandan Wangi Village, Jerowaru District, East Lombok Regency, West Nusa Tenggara, Wednesday (3/3/2021). The grandfather and grandmother currently have to take care of four grandchildren, each of whom both parents are migrant workers.

In Cirebon, West Java, RS, 6, was also raised by T, 50, her grandmother. Her mother died when RS was 2 years old and her father, MS, got married again. Due to economic limitations, her stepmother went to work in Singapore as a domestic worker. However, her stepmother rarely sent her money.

Living with her father who worked odd jobs, RS has grown up without maternal care. However, now she has to live with her grandmother after her father was arrested by the police last month for allegedly being involved in a rape case.

The hospital did not know that fact. She thought her father had not returned home because he was working out of town. Now, RS is raised by her grandmother who faithfully escorts her to kindergarten and picks her up.

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RS’ grandmother pays for all her expenses, including school. Her grandmother insisted on sending RS to school. "I want to become a teacher," said RS when asked what she wanted for the future.

Nadira and RS are just two of the many children of migrant workers who face various problems when their parents leave them in their hometowns. Many try their luck abroad as migrant workers as a result of financial woes.

Being far away and separated from their parents makes them miss many things. Even if there are other caregivers, it is not the same as having their parents.

KOMPAS/ISMAIL ZAKARIA

Children playing in Mungkik Hamlet, Pandan Wangi Village, Jerowaru District, East Lombok Regency, West Nusa Tenggara, Wednesday (3/3/2021). Dusun Mungkik is currently one of the "Child Friendly Hamlets" with various activities to encourage the fulfillment of children\'s rights.

For the sake of earning a living

Parents who become migrant workers are aware of this situation. However, financial demands mean they have to leave their children behind.

Ismail, 35, a resident of Juntinyuat village, Juntinyuat district, Indramayu regency, West Java, and his wife left their two children to try their luck in Taiwan. Ismail is a thread factory worker, while his wife is a domestic worker. Their two children were aged 6 and 1 when they left them.

The two children are now taken care of by their grandmother. To meet the children\'s needs, Ismail and his wife send monthly money.

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However, in May 2020, Ismail returned home after his factory went bankrupt due to the pandemic. He is currently unemployed and lives on his wife\'s income.

Based on data from the Indonesian Migrant Workers Protection Agency, in 2020, there were 10,060 migrant workers from Indramayu and 4,948 migrant workers from Cirebon. Most of the migrant workers just left their children when they departed.

There are many cases, where the wife works abroad and the husband enjoys the remittances at home.

Euis Suhartati, the chairperson of the Banati Foundation, said migrant workers\' children still needed the attention of their biological parents. Generally, when the mother departs to become a migrant worker, the father even leaves his children\'s care to the grandmother or siblings. The care of children also tends to be neglected.

"There are many cases, where the wife works abroad and the husband enjoys the remittances at home. There are those who gamble or get married again so that the children are not taken care of. Some children even become victims of sexual violence,” she said.

This article was translated by Hyginus Hardoyo.